Friday, March 14, 2008

Why do you feel the right to ask?

When people get engaged, it seems to open up a whole new line of questioning/conversation. People start asking questions that they wouldn't ask otherwise. They also make comments that they wouldn't otherwise make. Where are you going to live after the wedding? I may be pregnant by this time next year (they say this, I don't). When I disagree, I have actually been told that I am running out of time! That is not a polite thing to say, regardless of it's accuracy.

Today I was talking to a mate of mine. She said that she got the same questions when she got engaged. She also said that the questions continued until a few months ago, which was fortunate since she is pregnant and didn't want to have to dodge answers about "when are you starting a family?" Friends of mine mentioned that people they know have finally stopped asking when they are starting a family, and they have been married 9 years!!! I hope I don't get questions for that long...

But seriously, why do people who barely know you feel like they can suddenly start asking questions about every detail of your future life plans. Maybe we don't have plans. Maybe, just maybe, we just want to get married. Marriage does not have to equal buying a house. It doesn't have to mean moving of any type. It doesn't have to mean children or a family. Yes, these things sometimes happen but having a piece of jewelry or a legal document saying you "belong" to someone else does not somehow create a magic pathway to "adult" things.

1 comment:

Lien said...

I think some people are just really nosy and think than an engagement announcement is the perfect opportunity to pry into people's lives.

Apparently, pregnant women find that total random strangers will go up to them and, without a word, put their hands on their belly!