Challenges of Parenthood

When working with the children, a speech therapist has contact with schools and families. Most children have some type of annual meeting to discuss the previous year, progress and goals for the next year. In the U.S., this is called an Individual Education Plan (IEP). Some children in Ireland have these as well. During IEPs, parents sometimes talk about how things are going at home.

It is these times that I am struck with just how difficult raising a child with special needs can be. Some families use respite services. Respite is different in different areas but the idea is the same: give the families a break and some time to themselves. Raising children is a 24/7 job. Raising a child with a disability can be an incredibly intense 24/7 job. As typically developing children age, parenting can sometimes be less intense as the children can play by themselves. However, some children with special needs need 24/7 monitoring for their safety or their health. Parents don't get a break. The goal of respite is to try to alleviate some of that stress. However, my experiences as a respite worker were that the families never got as much as they needed, if the respite agency could find someone suitable to work with the family (respite workers got very low pay for the intensity of the job and there was really high turn over of staff in the areas I worked).

Other parents have talked about how difficult it is to take their children out in the community. They would love to be able to go grocery shopping with their child. As a respite worker, some families that I worked with never took a vacation. It just would have been too difficult.

What strikes me most working with children is the dedication of parents. Like the vast majority of parents, they want what is best for their children. However, they frequently don't know what that is or how to get it. What is best for their children also may not be available to them. They have professionals telling them to do this and that at home. They have other children asking questions about their sibling with a disability or acting out because they are jealous of the attention the child with the disability gets. Some parents can't sleep through the night because they have to check on their child. There is a whole additional set of worries. There are different joys. It is a different journey.