Reflecting again

As long as I can remember, I've wanted to learn about how people communicate and why things go wrong. I've also always been interested in family dynamics and how relationships are formed. When I was in high school, I took as many speech classes as I could. During college, I majored in Speech and Hearing Sciences and minored in Speech Communication with an emphasis on interpersonal conflict. The classes in my major taught me what could go wrong with communication, but it was the mechanics of, it not the nuances per se. During college and graduate school, I learned how to help people who have decreased speech clarity, motor speech disorders, autism, or language based disorders. I also learned a bit about how to help people who have pragmatic language disorders. That is, difficulty with social skills. Therefore, I've spent the last 15 years learning about how communication breaks down, and the effects that it has on people.

During my undergraduate work, I took as many classes as I could in speech communication. I tried to learn as much as I could about how people communicate. I learned how relationships develop and the different styles of argument. I also learned how people communicate in groups and how group dynamics form. However, I still didn't learn why conflicts develop. I learned the theoretical and practical day-to-day of why conflicts develop, but I did not learn about the underlying psychological reasons for the conflicts. After graduate school, I took quite a few continuing education courses, mostly to help me get a raise in my last job. :) Most of these courses were on things like dealing with difficult people and learning about families. During these courses, I learned a bit more about some of the underlying reasons for conflict. I also learned more about how much the environment really affects your life and even the life of your children or who you are likely to choose a spouse.

I think through the courses that I've taken and because of my work as a Speech and Language Therapist, I can understand my own life a little bit better. I think most people make the best choices that they can given the circumstances and information that they have. However, knowing the right choices to make can be very difficult. What we think is the right choice one day; we may realize the next day is not. Sometimes, when you are in a situation, it can be difficult to judge it objectively. When you take a step back, you're able to see what factors in your life, past and present, affected the choices you made.

I think everyone has choices or decisions that they would change if they could go back in time. However, I think the real learning comes when you can look at the past, the present, and then make the changes for your future. Even though it can be quite difficult, examining past and truly learning from it can be an amazing growth experience. It's probably easier to say, “I did the best I could.” I think it's better to say, “I did the best I could, I learned from this experience, and next time I'll do better.” Well, that is if you actually do better next time. After all the saying is those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it. :)