I'm staying

Since December, more and more people keep asking me what my plans are. My friends back home ask. People I work with ask. Random people who I barely know ask. Everyone seems to want to know if I am leaving. They don't ask if I am staying, they ask if I am leaving. They comment on high turnover in Speech/Language therapy in Ireland and then ask if I am leaving. One person started the conversation by commenting that I had been in Ireland almost two years and what was I doing? She knew there was a chance that I would leave. Other people ask how John's job is going. They then say things like, "Oh good, then you'll stay."

When people in Ireland ask me this question, I am reminded of the high turnover in my field and am struck by what they are really asking. People want to know if they can get attached. In many ways, I think that they have difficulty trusting new people. Other therapists have left, what makes me different?

The other end of this spectrum is with the therapists. It gets frustrating having people ask me what my plans are. It also gets frustrating working with angry people because that is how they have had to be to this point. The Irish therapists that I know don't get asked if they are leaving. They occasionally get asked if they are staying (and yes, there is a difference). It makes my relationships a bit more difficult at times because people are guarded with me. Also, it kind of hurts my feelings that they may be asking about my life and what is going on with me for I perceive to be selfish reasons.